tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78424765163975111232024-02-19T10:25:12.137+02:00Confessions of a Startup WifeCommenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-43107978080883078012010-04-12T14:58:00.000+03:002010-04-12T14:58:41.242+03:00Interview with a Startup WifeI know this blog is very neglected, but I somehow found time to respond to<a href="http://www.cookingmanager.com/"> Cooking Manager</a>'s fun interview questions. Check it <a href="http://www.cookingmanager.com/interview-abbi/">out</a>.<div><br />
</div><div>Posts are percolating in my head. I hope they come out soon.</div>Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-59960631145978154092010-03-08T23:55:00.000+02:002010-03-08T23:55:05.604+02:00No Food? No ProblemLast night, I had no fresh food to speak of in the house and no shabbat leftovers to tide me over till I was supposed to shop today (which, of course, I didn't get to).<br />
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It was 7:30 and I was hungry for dinner. Instead of ringing up my favorite sushi place, I dug through my freezer and fridge and came up with the following delicious concoction, which made enough to serve my husband and I and another serving tonight for dinner.<br />
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<b>Manna From the Freezer</b><br />
3 tbs oil<br />
1 onion<br />
2 cloves garlic<br />
1 tsp cumin<br />
1 tsp paprika<br />
1/2 tsp <a href="http://www.milescollins.com/wordpress/hawaj-spice-blend">hawaj</a><br />
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1 half bag of frozen <a href="http://planetgreen.discovery.com/food-health/white-beans-rosemary-crockpot.html">crock pot white beans</a><br />
1/4 frozen ground dark meat turkey (turkey shwarma in Israel)<br />
1/2 pan leftover roasted vegetables<br />
3-4 tablespoons leftover sauce from <a href="http://www.mariobatali.com/recipes_shortribs.cfm">crock pot short ribs </a><br />
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Saute onion in the oil, add garlic after onion is translucent. Add spices and stir until they release their fragrance (Add enough oil to make almost a paste). Add meat and brown. Add the beans, vegetables and sauce and simmer for 20 min.<br />
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Serve with polenta, rice or couscous. (I made polenta and it was very yum).<br />
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What's that? You don't have all of these exact leftovers in your fridge and freezer? (and why would you, unless you have a spy camera in my kitchen and have been secretly preparing what I make for shabbat). No problem. I think the spices and onion make a great base for a Morrocan style chile. Add any type of ground beef, chicken or turkey. Add canned or cooked beans (I think chickpeas or any type of red or white bean would work fine. Try baked beans, if that's all you have). Any kind of fresh or frozen veg would also work, but you might want to saute them separately to keep them whole and give them a bit of color. Add chopped tomatoes or tomato paste, salt, pepper and maybe a bit of soup mix. Simmer for 30-40 min.<br />
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Anyway, I'm very proud of myself for making up such a frugal and yummy dinner from almost nothing.Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-80812994469739417452010-03-07T09:10:00.002+02:002010-03-07T12:03:04.706+02:00Navajo Births Look Suspiciously Like Israeli BirthsThere's an <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/07/health/07birth.html?pagewanted=1&ref=health">article</a> in today's NYT about the low C-section and high VBAC rate at a small Navajo hospital in Arizona. The article describes how:<br />
<blockquote>Nurse-midwives at these hospitals deliver most of the babies born vaginally, with obstetricians available in case problems occur. Midwives staff the labor ward around the clock, a model of care thought to minimize Caesareans because midwives specialize in coaching women through labor and will often wait longer than obstetricians before recommending a Caesarean. They are also less likely to try to induce labor before a woman’s due date, something that increases the odds of a Caesarean.</blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCt6dC5ppInRIPtqXeYZ2eOckZq-1QJ22eFju4aIEkjWFo8QNC7un3vdfYTorn60Ye4F1xLydF8vY9iln4GopacbhFej3SywnRLQgvcWWFUk5G7bcFXEY7D0NrQYVqbUQM27N0_1_Zc80/s1600-h/birth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCt6dC5ppInRIPtqXeYZ2eOckZq-1QJ22eFju4aIEkjWFo8QNC7un3vdfYTorn60Ye4F1xLydF8vY9iln4GopacbhFej3SywnRLQgvcWWFUk5G7bcFXEY7D0NrQYVqbUQM27N0_1_Zc80/s320/birth.jpg" /></a></div>This is an almost exact description of Israeli hospitals. Women don't bring their own doctors to the hospital to give birth, unless they pay privately. I did for my first birth, because everyone in my family and my husband's family was nervous and wanted trusted MD backup. It was nice to have her there, but all she really did was kind of speed things up a bit by doing a <a href="http://www.childbirth.org/articles/amnio.html">amniotomy</a> and adjusting my daughter's head while she was in the birth canal. Most of my labor was supported by my husband and birth coach and I don't think I would have managed as well as I did (no epidural and a smooth birth) without them. The nurse-midwives at Hadassah came to check up once and a while, but basically they left me alone, until the pushing, when I seem to recall a whole cheering section (one midwife held up and waved around the little stretchy I brought to bring my daughter home in as inspiration for the home stretch)<br />
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The article has a beautiful description of the effects of Navajo culture on childbirth and attitudes towards children in general:<br />
<blockquote>Birth is a joyous affair here, and the entire family — from children to great-grandparents — often go to the delivery room.</blockquote><blockquote>“I’ve had 12 family members in the room,” said Michelle Cullison, a nurse-midwife. “I’ve frankly never seen a place like this. Whoever that woman wants to be there is there. It’s something I would take out to the community.”</blockquote>What I found most amusing is the following quote from a doctor:<br />
<blockquote>Can the rest of the country learn from Tuba City? Doctors say they are intrigued by the model but not sure how transferable it is.</blockquote>Hello, we have a whole country that approaches birth the way this dusty little hospital does. And I don't think Israel is alone, most of Europe approaches birth this way as well. It's frustrating (and ironic) how provincial the US can be when it comes to healthcare, despite all of its technological advances.Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-19653387204552359092010-02-14T23:30:00.000+02:002010-02-14T23:30:42.086+02:00Shabbat Shalom, Hey!Shabbat mornings have become an increasing quandary for me. I know it would be good to take the kids to shul, especially the girls who are already 4 and 6. I have memories of going to shul with my father, playing with my friends, sitting on his lap for kriat hatorah. However, since we haven't really found a shul that we're all comfortable in, it's kind of hard to swing that. My husband goes to a local Israeli minyan, but the girls don't like going with him because they don't have friends there. The shul where they have friends is not really comfortable for my husband (too Anglo). So, occasionally I've taken them to the park near the Anglo shul where they have friends, so they can socialize and I can see some of my friends and then we meet up at home for kiddush and lunch. I've tried to take them into shul myself and it always ends in disaster. It's just too hard to manage the three of them myself.<br />
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Usually, I'm just lazy, and the girls happily play their elaborate pretend games in their room, which usually involves every costume and plastic food item we own, Eli gets cereal crumbs all over the house and I make it 3/4 of the way through my latest New Yorker. Very spiritual for all involved...<br />
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This week, I decided to make a change. I made everyone get dressed (the above homebound scenario occurs in pajamas). We cleaned up the living room and we did tefillat yeladim at home. Avital, my oldest, was our chazanit. We used her old gan siddur. I had her lead from what she knew from gan and school and Tehilla and I followed along. Eli came with a bencher and answered amen where it was and wasn't appropriate. We went through the brachot and did a lot of hand motions. And then I added some Shabbat related tefilot. I taught them the first line of El Adon and we sang v'Shamru from Shemoneh Esreh. And then we did Birkat Hachodesh and davened really hard for a good month. We all really enjoyed it. I'm sorry we didn't start this sooner, but, better late then never.<br />
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And then, in fine tefillat yeladim tradition, we ended the session with a treat. Bittersweet chocolate, because that's all I had. It's no toffee, but, at least they've developed a taste for it. <br />
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How do you handle shul and kids?Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-10393417143581147452010-02-09T22:13:00.000+02:002010-02-09T22:13:03.252+02:00I Wanted to be Different, Just Like All the Other Different People<a href="http://ourshiputzim.blogspot.com/">Mrs. S</a> made a very insightful comment to me at the recent<a href="http://www.amotherinisrael.com/2010/02/08/reviving-tired-blog-advice/"> blogger meetup</a> in Modiin. She said "You make so many great comments, why don't you just turn them into posts?" I am a pretty prolific commenter, I'm not sure why I don't turn them more into posts. That strategy would populate this blog a bit more.<br />
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I'm really glad I made it to the meeting, despite being appallingly late once again. It was great to see everyone and great to hear some blogging tips from the pro, Mom in Israel.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">******************</div><br />
So, because I'm a friend or fan of a <a href="http://campmorasha.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=52&Itemid=48">Morasha</a> alumni group on Facebook, I got a notice about an alumni event they're planning soon, in the States. Obviously not relevant to me, but I started snooping around their site and discovered they have photo archives going back to the sixties. Since I went there from 85 to about 91 ( I skipped a year but went on their Sulam Israel trip, Gd knows why), I started trying to look up my old camp photos and look what I found:<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">What a hoot. Can you guess which one is me? Yes, the only one wearing a blue shirt. I wanted to be different, just like all the other different people... Why the heck couldn't I find a red shirt? And why am I wearing a skirt? I wasn't particularly frum back then, as far as I can remember. I definitely wore pants and shorts in general.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I love the commentary in this photo about Modern Orthodoxy. The majority of the girls are wearing pants, shorts and short sleeves. I was 13 then, what a horrifically awkward age. Just leaving childhood, not quite a grownup. I wasn't a big fan of camp, but this age was particularly difficult. I was never good at dealing with cliques (to this day I can't seem to get the hang of it). Because of this I'm very sensitive to how my daughters deal with their friends and if I hear of any kind of insensitivity, on their part or their friends, I try to help them work through it. I also encourage them to be as inclusive as possible. Since I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from their friends' parents this seems to be working. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">(As an aside, I notice a lot of parents have a hands-off approach when it comes to their kids and friends. I really believe that kids need to learn how to be good friends and they need guidance from parents on how to be sensitive and inclusive. I think that children have some natural empathy and sensitivity but these feelings do need to be nurtured and supported). </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I look at photos like this and I feel like I've lived so many mini-lifetimes already- distinct time periods that I'll never be able to go back to but are still so sharp in my memory. I'm starting to have that feeling even in my own marriage- I'll never be able to go back to the first year of our marriage, my oldest will never be a baby anymore. Hard to believe.</div>Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-83631430838142253262010-01-26T22:48:00.002+02:002010-01-26T22:54:59.481+02:00Mollie Katzen WeekI've been cooking and baking a ton this week, mostly from Mollie Katzen recipes. She wrote the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moosewood_Cookbook">Moosewood Cookbook</a> and a bunch of other really great vegetarian cookbooks. We aren't vegetarian in this house but I've always loved her fresh and interesting take on vegetables and cooking in general. I started cooking from her books in high school and I still use the same books to this day.<br />
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On Sunday, I made zucchini apple muffins from this <a href="http://www.gardenguides.com/1039-apple-zucchini-muffins.html">recipe</a>. They came out pretty good. They sliced nicely and made cute sandwiches spread with some cottage cheese.<br />
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Here they are just before we put them in the oven (the muffins, not the girls. :))<br />
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Today I made Mollie's Oatmeal Maple Bread. Thanks to Google books, you can see exactly what the recipe is and looks like in the book right below! Amazing. Search for "Oatmeal Maple Bread" if you can't see it immediately below. I used silan because I didn't have maple syrup and it came out fine. (So I guess it's technically "Oatmeal Silan Bread".)<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="500" scrolling="no" src="http://books.google.co.il/books?id=ptohVoAh-k4C&lpg=PA60&ots=zmATY4e5OG&dq=oatmeal%20maple%20bread%20enchanted%20broccoli%20forest&hl=en&pg=PA91&output=embed" style="border: 0px;" width="500"></iframe><br />
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I added chocolate chips, like I do to everything. This bread is actually really bready. I thought it would be kind of "banana bread"-like (meaning more like a cake) but it had an actual bread crumb and will probably toast nicely, with some jam. Here's how it came out below.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsnFtVdrrq1DdHvQnbMJHYF2nmjj5va4ikkhhiu3jUKflYlQ2PmSrfq_hYhVrbYjUBVFbATVftoLlTyXObEBQ4oAWhE1GPglB0Q5Xbe-CYQBzSHvXnhK4VLEkT7aIuHWdXxAqj6iPhgdk/s1600-h/DSC01934.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsnFtVdrrq1DdHvQnbMJHYF2nmjj5va4ikkhhiu3jUKflYlQ2PmSrfq_hYhVrbYjUBVFbATVftoLlTyXObEBQ4oAWhE1GPglB0Q5Xbe-CYQBzSHvXnhK4VLEkT7aIuHWdXxAqj6iPhgdk/s320/DSC01934.JPG" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Finally, I also made some crockpot white beans with rosemary and tomatoes. Not from Mollie, but definitely Mollie-inspired. I used this <a href="http://planetgreen.discovery.com/food-health/white-beans-rosemary-crockpot.html">recipe</a> but changed a few things. I used 300 ml of crushed tomatoes instead of the two tomatoes peeled and seeded. I skipped the onions and cloves since I didn't have any cloves and just used two chopped onions. I added a sheet of torn up nori (seaweed sheets for sushi). It doesn't taste fishy at all, just adds some depth and added protein. It needs a lot of salt and pepper (I think my palette might be busted from using too much soup mix over the years though.) It took about 5 hours in the crock pot but made a really yummy and filling supper for a cold winter's night.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7p15SluSKftaZ0xWPwmv3qdQrVWQzgoUj0RbTmXI_y5hY9zHDaiKCpHYx-72GcqyXFM7OVEWFtCUI3r4pauytvsF8eU-D6RHv9Ykta8sYNalLRf3JInO5tkBfVlQcTWf3gdIfb7SdsJI/s1600-h/DSC01930.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7p15SluSKftaZ0xWPwmv3qdQrVWQzgoUj0RbTmXI_y5hY9zHDaiKCpHYx-72GcqyXFM7OVEWFtCUI3r4pauytvsF8eU-D6RHv9Ykta8sYNalLRf3JInO5tkBfVlQcTWf3gdIfb7SdsJI/s320/DSC01930.JPG" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">B'teavon to us all!<br />
</div>Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-30521454779760625182010-01-18T23:51:00.001+02:002010-01-26T23:10:15.906+02:00Paris JauntSo, a week and a half ago M informed me that he had meetings in Switzerland and Paris Tuesday and Wednesday of last week. Then he paused and said "You know, I've never been to Paris. Would it be ok if I spent an extra day wandering around?" (he's very careful about asking for extra time away from home. I've trained him well. :) ) So I said, "Well, I've never been either, what if I joined you for the weekend?" . And so began our spontaneous weekend in Paris (we like to keep our plans as spontaneous as possible).<br />
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We sprung into action. He called about available flights for me using his frequent flier points and asked his parents about taking the kids for Shabbat and I started calling up about an afternoon and overnight babysitter for Wednesday night. Since Shabbat comes in so early, it seemed a better idea to go Wednesday afternoon, to have to whole Thursday for sightseeing. My two trusty Savta babysitters came through. Katie was available in the afternoon and Mazal was available overnight (she's been bugging me to go away for an overnight vacation since she started with us after E was born 19 months ago so she was thrilled). My inlaws would come to Ranaana to pick up Thursday afternoon and bring the kids back to Jeruslaem for shabbat and even bring them back home Sat. night so they would be able to go to school on time Sunday morning. We would return 4 am Sunday morning.<br />
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Everything was falling into place until my friend said to me "It's so great you're not a Polish mother too worried to leave her kids". And of course, from that moment on, I was tied up with anxiety about leaving the kids. Well, mostly E, because I'd never left him overnight before. I started waffling, wondering if it wasn't such a good idea, how would he get back to sleep without us (he still wakes up once a night for a bottle. I know, really bad habit). My brother, father of six, assured me that no one would be scarred for life and to just do it. So, we did.<br />
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I was a complete wreck until I got onto the plane. I always had this fantasy orignally of going to the airport alone, enjoying reading a magazine by myself on the plane. I didn't enjoy any of it. It was actually really hard to separate.<br />
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And I used to be jealous of my husband that he got all these solitary plane rides to read quietly. No more. My knees and legs hurt from sitting so long and it was hard to concentrate with the numerous screaming babies around me ( of course I was completely sympathetic and really actually wanted to help them, but figured the babies would scream even more being held by a stranger).<br />
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Anyway, the weekend itself was wonderful. It was great spending time alone with my husband, away from all of our everyday life. The kids were fine, E got through the nights fine without us (he actually slept through instead of doing his wakeup/bottle routine).<br />
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On Thursday we spent 12 hours on our feet roaming around Paris. Thankfully, it was a sunny day, though cold. We hit the Arc d'Triomphe, Champs Elysees and then ended up at a nice kosher dairy place near the Louvre with a "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" theme (not kidding- literally there was a huge statue of one of the characters from that movie). Then we wandered around the Ile D'France with a lot of nice quaint streets and I bought a nice silk scarf from this scarf store. We saw the Notre Dame cathedral. Then we hit the Musee D'Orsay and it was so nice to just be in a museum again. I used to hang out at the Metropolitan and MoMA in NYC all the time in high school and it was nice to be back around art again.<br />
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We took the metro to a pretentious overpriced restaurant called Osmose. Not worth the money, but we only found out at the end. Oh well.<br />
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Originally we wanted to do the Eiffel Tower at night afterward to see the "City of Lights" thing, but I could barely drag my body to the Metro, so we bagged that till the morning.<br />
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Friday, I got a baguette from the local kosher bakery (for future reference, we stayed at a Best Western Aida Opera on rue Richer, on the same block as a kosher grocery, bakery, meat/dairy restaurants and shuls.) and some hard and soft cheeses and made sandwhiches for lunch. We ate them at a little cafe on the Eiffel Tower with some coffee and hot choc. we bought.<br />
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It was really freezing by Friday, no more sun. But they had a great exhibition about the history of the tower, how it was built and why. At lunch we flipped through our guidebook to figure out what to do next. We had a few hours till Shabbat, so we felt that we should do something else. Then we decided to just find a cafe and relax, which was the best idea.<br />
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Shabbat we tried to memorize some routes to Le Merais, which was in relative walking distance to us. But by then it was really raining and cold, so no more walking for us. 5 minutes before candlelighting I realized I had candles but no matches. I went down to ask at the front desk and they handed me a box of Shufersal matches!<br />
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We had both meals reserved at this great meat restaurant down the block, Les Ailes, which was a relief in terms of proximity and just getting out of the hotel on a rainy day. Expensive, but absolutely wonderful and excellent service ie: waiters and hosts who really want to serve you, not just deigning to do so. The food was Tunisian French, which meant about 10 salatim to start (including a crunchy fennel salad and delicious avocado and basil ), fish, a choice of veal chicken or couscous, sides, fruit, pastries, tea and coffee, wine, challah, and drinks. Really salatim to nuts (they served salted nuts and olives with the salatim). There were about 7 other couples there, so it was a nice cozy Shabbat atmosphere.<br />
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It was a fantastic trip and I feel very blessed and thankful that we were able to do that on such short notice.<br />
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(I will add pics as soon as I upload them).<br />
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Update: Promised pics:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIvhd6EZtGz1TnaEiCr1dJHXj5zX3eNW38MidcnLCHXkjEbb0Da9eg-NzYOvCW3-4UltkKzVNtMd9tuTuLpDc6ifpoc5PicO-CJTZza2DSaxv_rlxT6P-kSrFaVASfRtP9pskbBomEqHA/s1600-h/DSC01925.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIvhd6EZtGz1TnaEiCr1dJHXj5zX3eNW38MidcnLCHXkjEbb0Da9eg-NzYOvCW3-4UltkKzVNtMd9tuTuLpDc6ifpoc5PicO-CJTZza2DSaxv_rlxT6P-kSrFaVASfRtP9pskbBomEqHA/s320/DSC01925.JPG" /></a><br />
</div>Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-40663012205999008982009-12-09T23:12:00.000+02:002009-12-09T23:12:14.024+02:00Spontaneous Shabbat LunchM and I originally thought that last Shabbat would be a quiet family Shabbat, just the five of us at both meals (we never really get around to seuda shlishit, so why pretend). M wasn't feeling well Shabbat morning, so I took the kids to the park myself in the morning (grumbling on the way that I was once again stuck with the kids myself). I ran into my friend T in the park (waving hello if your're reading!), who has a matching set of kids to mine- 2 girls and a boy. Her kids are so matching that the older girls are in school together and the younger are in the same gan.<div><br />
</div><div>I had invited her for lunch at the beginning of the week but she said her husband was going to be in miluim and she would be by family. At the park, she said she wanted to call on Thursday to try to revive the invite, but didn't. I said what a shame and somehow we got the idea to have a food pool lunch at at my house. We were into the idea and we knew the kids would love it, but somehow our husbands weren't exactly chomping at the bit to have such a spontaneous social activity. Although they weren't thrilled by the idea originally, in the end everyone had a really nice time and the whole thing really cheered me up and left me with a great feeling (I have friends and they like me so much they would come to my house for lunch on the spot!)</div><div><br />
</div><div>Usually, when I make Shabbat food I cook for at least 6-8 people even though we're only 2 adults and 2 kids who eat real food. This Shabbat, I really pared down and only made 3 chicken quarters (baked with quince, carrots, cinnamon and cumin that I adapted from a recipe in Gil Marks 'World of Jewish Cooking'.) My friend brought a drink, a chicken salad and chummus. I had brown rice and roasted cauliflower and tomato but what really made the lunch was a leftover shoulder roast I had from the night before. I sliced it into strips and made an Asian steak salad. With guacamole and cold cuts, it was quite a feast for such short notice.</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Last Minute Asian Meat Salad</b></div><div><br />
</div><div>1 head/bag Red/Green/Baby leaf lettuce, washed and dried</div><div>1 cucumber, julienned or cut into large dice</div><div>1 red pepper, julienned or also large dice</div><div>5-6 cherry tomatoes, halved</div><div>3-4 radishes, thinly sliced</div><div>500 grams beef shoulder, sliced into strips</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Dressing</b>: (er, rough estimate because I stopped measuring my dressings a long time ago)</div><div><br />
</div><div>3 Tbs Olive Oil</div><div>1 Tbs balsamic vinegar</div><div>2 tsp soy sauce</div><div>3 tsp honey</div><div>1 tsp whole grain mustard</div><div>s/p</div><div><br />
</div><div>Mix salad ingredients in a large bowl, laying the meat on top. Mix dressing ingredients in a small jar or large teacup. Dress right before serving. Garnish ideas: Crushed roasted cashews or peanuts. </div><div><br />
</div>Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-49145208921869990932009-12-04T07:30:00.000+02:002009-12-04T07:30:39.673+02:00Shiny the Jewish GiraffeThis <a href="http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/03/choosing-religion-for-a-stuffed-giraffe/">post </a>incredibly adorable and I think the mom did a good job handling her 3 year old's spiritual crisis:Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-73552324607106026242009-12-02T23:47:00.003+02:002009-12-03T00:08:01.868+02:00Collecting the Moments One by One<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">I can't even use the excuse that I haven't been near a computer, because I work on the internetz!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">A recap from the last week or two:</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Just to chime in with other Israeli <a href="http://aliyahbyaccident.blogspot.com/2009/12/conference-or-hangin-with-natives.html">parent-teacher conference goers</a>, I too, received a sparkling first report for my first first grader. What a nice feeling, especially since I feel that I put in just as much work as my daughter! First grade is really tough these days. Much tougher than mine. (I seem to only remember painting the windows, reading groups with Mrs. McGivern and being forced into Second Grade Hebrew because I learned the aleph-bet in Chabad kindergarten). A. seems to have an infinite number of notebooks, workbooks and folders to keep track of. Not to mention schools supplies that never stay in her kalmar. (I now seem to make a weekly trip to Office Depot to resupply her bottomless pencil case). But, despite all of these obstacles, she sailed through like the princess she is, smiling, courteous, davening with kavana and learning to read, write, add and subtract all in 3 months!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">My 18 month old son, E, took his first steps this week. I knew he would because he managed to walk with a baby doll stroller on Shabbat, exactly the way A did 5 years ago. (The Shabbat she did that, she walked that week). Now, the night he took a few steps, I was very excited and of course told my husband. When he took him to gan the next morning, though, he forgot to tell the gannenet. When she saw him walk, she called me so excited and said "הוא הולך לבד! " When I heard that, my first thought was that he walked out of her yard alone!! But then I quickly realized that she was just excited that he's walking unaided. Whew!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Poor T is stuck in the middle. Our relationship is going through a rough patch. She announced this morning that she doesn't like me, because I made her wear a sweatshirt she didn't like. She has a very particular taste in clothes, that I try to accommodate, but most mornings I'm just not in the mood for a reenactment of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What_Not_to_Wear_(UK)">What Not to Wear</a>. I know I should pick my battles, but I'm not always good at that. Of course, 15 minutes after she proclaimed her dislike for me, she begged me not to leave her gan immediately after drop off. I can't win...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Hubby is in Germany for 48 hours, as per usual. Just me, my computer and Elite 92 calorie chocolate bars, which are surprisingly satisfying, even though I only ate one!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Here is a really darling music video I found: </span></span><br />
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<object height="364" width="445"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lO4_XGfEAic&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lO4_XGfEAic&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="445" height="364"></embed></object><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The song is from the soundtrack to the movie (500) Days of Summer. We saw the movie a few weeks ago and I thought it was ok, but I loved the music. Straight from my high school days, the Smiths, the Pixies, etc. I just love how creative and whimsical this video is. I'm not really into music or videos anymore (especially since I lost my entire cd collection on one of my flights back to Israel in 2000) but this one reminds me of why I used to be into it.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[Post title is a paraphrase from the song]</span></span>Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-23277094278653121592009-11-11T21:20:00.004+02:002009-11-12T12:18:59.084+02:00Cauliflower and Mushroom Bisque<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCJC-GhVegzvlxNH8EEzARHanmsSGVOJkZEaLtucA_1TTMwEklM5Za9M-Em0WJRAHsfpv0aAVyxw5B4DxSQwBItI63FxlaC75Daa0vf0tZ8ziqO5p5JwFYOD7AG5cxdsGOugrwWwx-Iyc/s1600-h/Cauliflower_Sheep_4002355.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCJC-GhVegzvlxNH8EEzARHanmsSGVOJkZEaLtucA_1TTMwEklM5Za9M-Em0WJRAHsfpv0aAVyxw5B4DxSQwBItI63FxlaC75Daa0vf0tZ8ziqO5p5JwFYOD7AG5cxdsGOugrwWwx-Iyc/s200/Cauliflower_Sheep_4002355.jpg" /></a><br />
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This is a sturdy soup that you can make as thin or as thick as you like, depending on how much stock you add. It passes for potato soup but no potatoes were harmed in the making! For serving with dairy, feel free to add some cream or thinned yogurt. This also makes a good sauce for rice, couscous, pasta, chicken, pargiot or even mini hamburgers, which I made tonight.<br />
<div><br />
</div><div>And it got one kid vote at supper tonight, even though said child burned her mouth on it ( I don't want any McDonalds coffee type lawsuits so, WARNING: This soup is very very hot when you first make it, so blow on it before eating and don't put the bowl between your knees while driving a car. Thanks!)<br />
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Hattip to my mother. She gave me the original idea for the recipe.<br />
<div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Cauliflower and Mushroom Bisque </b><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;">1 onion, chopped</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">1 clove garlic, chopped</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">2 carrots, peeled and cut into chunks</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">4 zucchini, washed and cut into chunks (if you want to maintain a lighter color and you're not in Israel, peel some or all of the zucchinis).</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">1 large or 2 small heads of cauliflower, broken into florets</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">1 basket of mushrooms, sliced</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">3-4 Swiss chard leaves or 1 cup spinach, roughly chopped</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">Chicken, veggie stock or water to cover vegetables</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">s/p</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">Pinch of nutmeg</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">Saute onion and garlic until soft. Add mushrooms and saute until they start to cook down. Add the rest of the vegetables except chard/ spinach and stir. Cover pot and cook on low, without water for 10-15 minutes until the vegetables start to make their own stock (this really brings out the flavor in the vegetables, so don't skip this step). Cover with stock or water, season to taste. Bring to a boil and simmer for 1/2 hour. Add chard or spinach and cook for 10 minutes longer. Let cool for a bit and blend with a hand blender.</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br />
</span><br />
Note: Feel free to leave out the greens if you think it will freak your kids out or if you want a mellower, more potato/leek soup type flavor.<br />
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</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">בתאבון</span><br />
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</span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;">(photo credit: </span><a href="http://glendakays.com/store/index.php?cPath=39"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Glenda Kay's Gifts</span></a><span style="font-weight: normal;">. I think you can actually buy a doll like that)</span><br />
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</div><b></b>Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-76412696959169811842009-11-08T10:27:00.000+02:002009-11-08T10:27:18.141+02:00Did You Know About the North Korean Famine?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBCyCNRWGrWCuL5suFBlFMcLNzPz8xVgFf1ATeDWGGIcdxoCpzT8oEyrjbUf8h97nkZmH1RNf_7wVUjCdjPNSx6aHIJvvlOBSDQSimsMHvrY1cI5kLb7gBuqHwsg0A6n3YuYMu-MF681Y/s1600-h/korea_famine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBCyCNRWGrWCuL5suFBlFMcLNzPz8xVgFf1ATeDWGGIcdxoCpzT8oEyrjbUf8h97nkZmH1RNf_7wVUjCdjPNSx6aHIJvvlOBSDQSimsMHvrY1cI5kLb7gBuqHwsg0A6n3YuYMu-MF681Y/s320/korea_famine.jpg" /></a><br />
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Ok, not really related to the usual themes of this blog, but I've been a little obsessed with this topic since I read an article about it in the New Yorker last week. They don't have the article online for free but here's a <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/multimedia/2009/11/02/091102_audioslideshow_northkorea">link </a>to a slide show about the article. Apparently, there was a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Korean_famine">famine</a> in North Korean in the mid-90's that killed 2.5 million people, conservatively. No one has definitive numbers because it was a crime to report "starvation" as a cause of death. I never knew about it until reading this article and when I ask other people who are usually up on current events, no one else had heard about it either. I think it's amazing that an entire country can keep a secret like that. Here is a <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/1996/05/14/world/un-says-north-korea-will-face-famine-as-early-as-this-summer.html">link </a>to an article in the New York Times in 1996 about the "upcoming famine".<br />
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The New Yorker article was mind blowing, especially for someone who loves to eat, like me. She focuses on this one woman, Mrs. Song, who lost her mother, husband and 25 year old son to starvation. She describes the horrible things they were forced to eat, including porridges made out of ground corn cobs/husks and bean stalks. Flavoring soup with grass. And mostly all of her doomed attempts at making money and procuring food for her family.<br />
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Here is an excerpt from the online abstract (you need a sub to read the whole thing online):<br />
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<blockquote>Even after three members of her family died of starvation, Mrs. Song believed that North Korea was the greatest nation on earth. Mrs. Song used to go twice a week to a food-distribution center near her apartment, in the coastal city of Chongjin. Mrs. Song would hand over her ration book, a small sum of money, tickets from the garment factory, and the clerk would calculate her entitlements: seven hundred grams each per day for her and her husband, three hundred grams for her mother-in-law, and four hundred for each school-aged child living at home. For all its rhetoric about self-sufficiency, North Korea was dependent on the generosity of its neighbors. By the early nineteen-nineties, the Russians, impatient with North Korea’s failure to repay loans, raised their prices for food, fuel, and raw materials. Enduring hunger became part of one’s patriotic duty. </blockquote><br />
As I prepared my Shabbat food on Friday, I really appreciated the meat I was able to buy and prepare with such ease, the olive oil I was able to drizzle on my fresh vegetables (oil became completely unavailable at any price in the North Korea in the late 90's), the oven I was able to just turn on with the flick of a wrist. <br />
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Here is a link to the author's upcoming <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Nothing-Envy-Lives-Korea-Korean/dp/1847080146/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257609111&sr=1-1">book</a>.Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-83708410829525627592009-11-08T09:38:00.000+02:002009-11-08T09:38:52.441+02:00הילדה הכי יפה בגןFor those who aren't familiar with this great Yehudit Ravitz song, here's a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wAvfAoug0M">link</a>.<br />
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I think my middle daughter might win the title for her gan this year. I'm not trying to brag, (of course it feels great that my daughter is so loved) but I'm more amazed than anything else. I know that she's made a lot of friends as we've had quite a few <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wAvfAoug0M">playdates</a> this year, but the reaction of the boys when I bring her in the morning is unbelievable. They literally start whooping and shouting and going into a frenzy when I bring her in. Today, they started when I came in (she was putting up her name on the board by the door), because they know I'm her Ima. They shout "T is here! T is here!". I don't think she really knows what to do with the attention, because she can actually be quite shy. She doesn't even really acknowledge them, because she likes to settle into gan at her own pace in the mornings.<br />
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I just think it's quite amazing. She's only four now. What's going to be when she's actually a teenager...?Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-90614731433004292842009-11-03T21:33:00.002+02:002009-11-03T21:34:35.456+02:00Baby Survival KugelBreaking news at the Startup Wife home: My husband's startup was mentioned int his BusinessWeek <a href="http://www.businessweek.com/globalbiz/content/nov2009/gb2009112_265697.htm">article</a>. (His is the second company mentioned, SolarEdge). Woo hoo! Nice to have the media recognize the millions of hours he (and I, picking up the slack at home) have put into this business.<br />
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On to the recipe:<br />
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</div>So, I've recently been complaining about how E, my little one, doesn't eat a blessed thing ( I really did offer him most things in Hannah's post <a href="http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/2286215/sg13p/cookingmanager~Make-Your-Own-Convenience-Foods-for-Your-Baby">here</a> but even from a young age he turned up his nose at the simplest foods). Well, he almost doesn't eat anything. He did take a shine to my carrot kugel (rather, the <a href="http://www.thekosherpalette.org/">Kosher Palette's </a>carrot kugel recipe. Remember that oldie but goodie cookbook?). I decided to play with the kugel recipe to turn it into a well rounded meal, since he refuses so many other foods. Here's what I ended up with and it's still a huge hit with him.<br />
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<b>Baby Survival Kugel</b><br />
5 carrots, peeled and cut into coins<br />
1-2 zuchinni, washed well and sliced<br />
1 cup whole wheat/white flour (depending on preference)<br />
2 Tbs wheat germ<br />
1.5 tsp baking powder<br />
1 small container white yogurt, higher fat the better (3-4%)<br />
1/2 cup oil<br />
2 eggs<br />
3/4 cup sugar (you can try 1/2 as well, if you would prefer less sweet)<br />
1 tsp vanilla<br />
<br />
Steam or boil vegetables until soft (steaming will retain more vitamins). Drain and mash in a large mixing bowl with a potato masher. Add the rest of the ingredients, in any order you prefer. Mix lightly with a spoon and then blend with a hand blender (alternatively, you can put all the ingredients into a traditional blender and whiz there.) Pour into a lightly greased rectangular pan and bake at 180 degrees Celsius for 40-45 minutes, until golden on top and firm.<br />
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Let cool completely and refrigerate. Cut into squares or "fingers" and serve warm, room temp or cold. Goes anywhere you child does. Can be served even as a breakfast treat! Feel free to sub in different vegetables- works especially well with pumpkin and sweet potato.Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-50582171466520437932009-10-29T07:15:00.002+02:002009-10-29T13:42:36.596+02:00Is Gender Socialization Genetic?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPaNWAxJT0dvmjkAXTKY9r7Wo_IyvMOi9099w1nUsAUfis3oaCmM5kAuSSAReTlzZz29qJTnd7wAvsXzmOtMSbZwC2aWP2LAgdTMvSlY2y9wUgnmLx_gCVAcst1ExN9ZX2GvtxEbX-A6c/s1600-h/matchbox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPaNWAxJT0dvmjkAXTKY9r7Wo_IyvMOi9099w1nUsAUfis3oaCmM5kAuSSAReTlzZz29qJTnd7wAvsXzmOtMSbZwC2aWP2LAgdTMvSlY2y9wUgnmLx_gCVAcst1ExN9ZX2GvtxEbX-A6c/s320/matchbox.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Lisa Belkin writes on her Motherlode blog about a boy who<a href="http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/28/when-a-boy-wants-a-tutu/?apage=3#comments"> wants to be a ballerina for Halloween. </a> The mother wants to stop him, not because she think it's wrong, but because she doesn't want him to be teased. I understand this, but I tend to agree with the commenters who think, at 5, he's ready to be prepared for the teasing and, if he still wants to dress up after being well-informed of the possible social consequences, then she should let him.<br />
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This got me thinking about my own boy's toy preferences. My husband and I have been fascinated by how, even as early as 12 months, he had a clear preference for decidedly male-oriented toys- especially trucks, cars and tractors.When Mr. Startup (hubby) returned from a trip to the states with gifts, he bought the girls Barbies (those Polly Pockets were driving me crazy. They lasted about 5 minutes no matter how hard I tried to corral them all into various storage boxes.) and an adorable furry kitty stuffed animal for E. No go. Totally not interested and this was at 14 months. A month later, he brought back a green racing car that zoomed off by itself. A huge hit! We were both simply amazed at how he was gender socialized at such a young age. And where did it come from? It's not like we had a house full of boy toys. In fact the opposite- almost everything is pink, sparkly and dolls. Dolls totally don't interest him. When I try to give him one to distract him, he just throws it to the side.<br />
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He loves other kinds of toys too- especially stacking cups and a toy where you can stack large beads. But we are just fascinated about how he fell so easily into his gender role so early. It's genetic? I have no idea.Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-14145147375284956352009-10-27T09:27:00.001+02:002009-10-27T09:27:33.053+02:00Check out Kosher Cooking Carnival #46Many thanks to Mimi at <a href="http://mimi54.wordpress.com/">Israeli Kitchen</a> for putting together a delectable looking <a href="http://mimi54.wordpress.com/2009/10/27/kosher-cooking-carnival-46-is-here/">Kosher Cooking Carnival.</a><br />
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I'm gaining weight just looking at the recipes!Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-25963246964806489132009-10-24T23:48:00.002+02:002009-10-25T08:41:29.706+02:00Greens, Mushrooms and Noodles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiBhKjPc4MhZSV72F_szdHJTIVef4MJEIvjKut7VeYIuNpZZcavD41eTC65HfAMxsQe2qoBHC2F-WgQne-ogHok5GwqszqHv8AjDv2jaa1-HF_44L37fiP5DAMGbZ7EiL2S_ifXZPgRNc/s1600-h/endive.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiBhKjPc4MhZSV72F_szdHJTIVef4MJEIvjKut7VeYIuNpZZcavD41eTC65HfAMxsQe2qoBHC2F-WgQne-ogHok5GwqszqHv8AjDv2jaa1-HF_44L37fiP5DAMGbZ7EiL2S_ifXZPgRNc/s320/endive.JPG" /></a><br />
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I made cabbage and noodles a few weeks ago. I hadn't made it in ages (possibly years) and I had forgotten how much my husband loved it. I bought some Swiss chard and mushrooms this week, thinking I'd make some kind of soup with them. Last week I bought a pack of endives after reading <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/06/health/nutrition/06recipehealth.html?ref=fitnessandnutrition">this recipe</a> in the NYT. Cooked endive sounded intriguing.<br />
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In any case, I was still stuck with all these ingredients Friday afternoon, so instead of all my previous ideas, I sauteed onion and garlic, added the mushrooms, thinly sliced endive and the chopped chard, with lots of salt and pepper. I cooked a pot of good wide egg noodles (not the crappy Israeli kind). My husband and I finished the whole thing at dinner, thanks to some generous "tasting" helpings before Shabbat.<br />
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A few notes on serving: I served this Friday night, and to be honest, it doesn't take too kindly to reheating on the plata. So there are two options: you can add a few eggs or one egg and some egg whites and more salt and pepper, making this a kugel. Or, you can keep the vegetables and noodles separate until the last minute and stir them together before serving, that way the noodles don't get all tired and limp looking.<br />
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In any case, we thoroughly enjoyed the dish (of course, the kids wouldn't look at it).<br />
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<b>Greens, Mushrooms and Noodles</b><br />
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1 onion, thinly sliced<br />
2 cloves garlic, chopped<br />
1 basket of button mushrooms, sliced (any mushroom will do, feel free to substitute)<br />
2 endives, thinly sliced from the end<br />
1 bunch of Swiss chard, washed well, checked and chopped<br />
salt and pepper<br />
1 package of wide egg noodles, cooked just to al dente<br />
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Saute onion and garlic in olive oil in a large wok or frying pan for about 10 minutes on low heat, until thoroughly browned and soft. Add mushrooms and cook until the juices have evaporated. Add endive, cook until soft. Add chard, cook down as well. Season with salt and pepper.<br />
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Cook noodles in boiling water until just al dente. Mix veggies and noodles just before serving. Or mix together and add 2-3 eggs and bake in an oblong pan at 180 degrees Celsius until firm, 30-40 minutes.Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-2423516713879181652009-10-24T23:21:00.000+02:002009-10-24T23:21:57.033+02:00When Mom Can't Make It All BetterI happened to actually turn on the TV on Thursday night, which is a rare occurrence for me, and the movie <a href="http://www.films42.com/columns/campfire.asp">Medurat Hashevet</a> (Campfire) by Josef Cedar was on. I loved that movie when it first came out in 2004 and I loved watching it again, especially after thinking about A Mother in Israel's post <a href="http://www.amotherinisrael.com/2009/10/22/defines-israeli-parenting/">What Defines Israeli Parenting?</a><br />
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All of the classic Israeli aspects of childraising are in the movie- the independence (the main character, Tami, spends lots of time on her own, and the climactic moment of the movie actually happens because she's at an unsupervised Lag B'Omer campfire); the mother who tries to be authoritative but sensitive but is too self absorbed by her own traumas to follow through on either well; the insularity of the religious neighborhood that tries to fend off the "bad kids" from the poorer neighborhood next door. It's really a fantastic movie and worth renting if you haven't seen it yet.<br />
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One element that really struck me after this viewing was Tami's reaction to her trauma. In most Hollywood movies and TV shows, when something bad happens to a child (Tami is 15), the normal reaction is for the child to report what happened directly to her parents or siblings or another trusted adult. Tami doesn't say a word to anyone. When her sister asks what happened and tries to get her to talk, she refuses and says she's ok. When her mother tries the same, after saying she's not angry, same thing happens. The movie ends, loose ends are tied up, but Tami never discusses what happened with her mom or sister. I thought that was curious and somewhat unsatisfying for the viewer. I wanted her to have that catharsis of spilling everything to her mom and getting comfort, but for some reason Cedar chose to deny us and her that moment.<br />
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I think there is something true to life in Tami's reaction. We always assume that kids need to talk, especially when they are in trouble. Maybe sometimes kids need to be alone with their trauma, to work through it themselves. There's a lot in the movie about drawing boundaries within the family- the mother gets angry in the beginning when the older daughter locks her bedroom door and fools around with her boyfriend. She breaks the window on the door as punishment. When Tami locks her door to be alone, the mother reminds her "We don't lock doors in this house!". I think Tami's silence is part of that process of creating boundaries and defining herself.Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-78126473701171792952009-10-22T20:06:00.001+02:002009-10-22T20:07:37.500+02:00Best and Worst Parenting Feelings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhizOK9mY5CWdgPl_SWSwIfuSrJQkxDmsbWm-1PYLyMFltN8EnnwuoyqecuUPktbsGn3fS6kKjMKTRwaZEkn1D3hKqXVbQohHmIRaEXyUPiwQVWMO2mG0ExZwazhDRb0RRTKZ8Z5LOjdyg/s1600-h/sisterpainting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhizOK9mY5CWdgPl_SWSwIfuSrJQkxDmsbWm-1PYLyMFltN8EnnwuoyqecuUPktbsGn3fS6kKjMKTRwaZEkn1D3hKqXVbQohHmIRaEXyUPiwQVWMO2mG0ExZwazhDRb0RRTKZ8Z5LOjdyg/s320/sisterpainting.jpg" /></a><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: small;">Painting by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William-Adolphe_Bouguereau">William-Adolphe Bouguereau</a></span></i><br />
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</div>There is no better feeling than having all three kids asleep at 7:28 pm.<br />
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There is no worse feeling that having your son wake up screaming or spit food out that he really wants to eat because a nasty sore on his tonsil makes it too unbearable to swallow. And there is nothing you can do to soothe him aside from hold him and try to shove more Nurofen down his throat if it's time. Hand, foot and mouth disease sucks! Though this homeopathic spray my sister in law recommended seemed to work just now. I sprayed some after he woke up from his early bedtime and he managed to get back to sleep after a few minutes.<br />
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Another good feeling I've been having is watching my two daughters play and interact with each other. A is 6.4 in kita aleph and T is 4. They are truly best friends. When my parents were here, my mother was absolutely amazed at how they could sit on the couch for an hour, my older lying in my younger's lap and listening to younger tell embellished versions of her dreams, complete dramatic cameos from Barbie and some other dolls. They truly love each other's company, most of the time. They do fight and bicker sometimes (there was a drama about sharing a balloon in the car today) but they absolutely care deeply for each other. When A spent a Shabbat away at Savta and Zayde's alone for "quality time" they both only wanted to talk to each other on the pre and post shabbat check-in phone call. A just had to share this very important joke with T, she had no time to talk to Ima or Abba!<br />
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I don't have a sister and neither does my mother (in a way, we are each other's sister- we talk on the phone everyday and talk about everything). So it gives me even more pleasure to see how close they are, and how much they truly enjoy each other's company. It's also very convenient to have a live-in playdate.<br />
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They both love their little brother, so it will be interesting to see how they incorporate him into their play as he gets old enough. He's still in the destructive phase of play.Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-73445507437026807652009-10-18T22:03:00.003+02:002009-10-18T22:07:25.325+02:00Blogger Blab Fest and Odds and EndsThe blogger do-dah last night, organized by <a href="http://www.amotherinisrael.com/">A Mother in Israel</a> and (Aardvark in the) <a href="http://mimi54.wordpress.com/2009/10/18/aardvark-in-my-kitchen/">Israeli Kitchen</a>, was a blast. It was wonderful to get to know the faces behind familiar blogs and meet new bloggers. Mimi was very generous to open her home and it would have been a perfect evening if only Petach Tikveh was slightly more accessible and/or the Israeli Transportation Authority was slightly more adept at highway signage. I drove myself there with impeccable directions from my navigator hubby, but still managed to get off at the wrong exit and get lost wandering around the dark streets of the Petach Tikveh Industrial Zone with not a clue as to where I was. I did finally find my way to Mimi's and was even able to give a ride to <a href="http://isramom.blogspot.com/">Isramom</a> on the way back so she could get a bus back home.<br />
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I really enjoyed hearing about <a href="http://baronesstapuzina.wordpress.com/">Baroness Tapuzina'</a>s background and how she got her food blog going, and how Robin from <a href="http://aroundtheisland.blogspot.com/">Around the Island</a> got into photography. It was also good to hear about topics and issues that people struggle with in their blogging. I really hope you will write that haircovering post, <a href="http://onetiredema.wordpress.com/">One Tired Ema</a>.<br />
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I look forward to future meetups.<br />
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<b>Loose Ends:</b><br />
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*My 17 month old, E, is insanely picky with food. I'm trying to be nonchalant about it, but it gets difficult at times, (I think more for me than him). He will happily eat sweets morning, noon and night, but has yet to agree to eat a straight piece of chicken. So far, he will deign to dine on fish sticks, chummous or jelly sandwiches, yogurt pancakes, fruit yogurts or Daniella (air whipped yogurt/white cheese thing) carrot kugel and any cake, cookie or chocolate.<br />
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Even though this is kid number 3, when you'd think I'd already by experienced enough to handle this, but I'm open to any words of encouragement or advice.<br />
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* Hubby M is going away next week, the third week away in the last 5 weeks. The near constant travelling that seems to be part of the "startup mentality" is getting old for me. I know it's part of the deal, as it were, and we should be used to it, but it's still hard for all of us, even after 3 years.<br />
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* My daughter has way too much homework for a first grader. It's a constant stress for me. I thought I finished school already! Not fairy! (A is constantly using this "fairy" word (instead of fair). In Hebrew it turns into "זה לא הוגני".)Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-43553887236386276972009-10-01T20:42:00.006+02:002009-10-01T21:04:08.747+02:00Navigating the Mass-Market Milk WorldLisa Belkin has a <a href="http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/01/different-families-different-rules/#comment-97123">post </a>up on her Motherlode blog about dealing with rules and attitudes your kids might encounter at friends or in school that differ from the ones at home. Like, you don't have a TV in your house but your neighbor does- are your kids allowed to watch or not?<div><br /></div><div>It's an interesting discussion. I deal with this with the chiloni family across the hall. They have a daughter the same age as my oldest. So my two girls and she play really nicely together. We've gotten into some healthy discussions about how she rides on Shabbat and we don't. For the most part, I've been fine with their play dates, except for some TV shows here and there that I don't care for. A, my oldest, came home from gan last year singing some movie songs that I don't care for either. Also, I let them watch the preschool channel Hop on TV but Arutz Hayeladim (the Children's Channel that's not very kid friendly) is banned here. But I can't forbid them from watching it at other people's houses. </div><div><br /></div><div>Generally, I try to stay flexible, unless it's something that really offends my sensibilities, like Bratz dolls. </div><div><br /></div><div>This mother has other problems:</div><div><br /></div><div><blockquote>I am experiencing this right now. I LOVE my neighbor who watches my daughter twice a week, but I do notice that she comes home singing little jingles that I’d rather her not know. Yesterday it was “shake your booty…” ha! We don’t own a tv and we eat very healthily, but like other commentors, I’ve wanted my daughter to be aware that other families do things differently and to find love and joy with others even though they are different. We’ve compromised with the nieghbor on lots of little things …no sugary juice for my daughter when the other kids have their juice but rather organic raw milk (provided by me) instead. Now it’s a non-issue. But with the corny pop culture jingles? I don’t know how to handle this one. Should I risk coming off as a total judgemental b**** and asking her not to show movies to my child (she’s already agreed to no TV when my daughter is over) or should I get over it and just “shake my booty!”? :)</blockquote></div><div><br /></div><div>Here was my response:</div><div><br /></div><div><blockquote>Anonymous #32:<p></p>I vote for getting over it, having some sugary juice and letting go a bit. Your daughter has got to learn how to navigate the pasteurized mass-market milk world sometime. Now would be good.<p></p></blockquote><p></p><p>I found the attitudes about TV and food in the comments to be remarkably similar to haredi attitudes towards those topics (TV is bad, can't trust the standards of the next-door neighbor). </p><p>How do you deal with different rules and alternative attitudes toward the values and ideals that are important to you?</p></div>Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-54197328839784784012009-09-29T22:32:00.002+02:002009-09-29T22:35:41.888+02:00[Insert Recipe Here]Well, if you want to find my recipe for Vegetable Soup with Chicken kneidalach, you'll have to go to the fabulous new <a href="http://www.cookingmanager.com/vegetable-soup-chicken-kneidlach-dumplings/">CookingManager.com</a> site. There are lots of other neat kitchen tips, ideas and recipes there as well.Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-53590154785461599062009-09-29T20:11:00.007+02:002009-09-30T20:34:12.207+02:00Kiddie Cocktail Party at Neila<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgeEtcsR5t55QtXEv7moEB217lAPw6e9oduGSa9xlj-5DRWETJHQvj_DTfNZBwfN-a66OGIhNMfaQ72dPGWHx3NvNcfPr1fKJ8YkHUOGjRPFjsrz72gBwVFOHM7T1h-t0iFOLMQg6yLYY/s1600-h/pic.php.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 142px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgeEtcsR5t55QtXEv7moEB217lAPw6e9oduGSa9xlj-5DRWETJHQvj_DTfNZBwfN-a66OGIhNMfaQ72dPGWHx3NvNcfPr1fKJ8YkHUOGjRPFjsrz72gBwVFOHM7T1h-t0iFOLMQg6yLYY/s320/pic.php.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386957121917861026" /></a><div>So, Yom Kippur for me was not as successful shul-wise as Rosh Hashana was, but, on the bright side, fasting is a breeze when you take away nursing and pregnancy conditions (like that story of the man who brings all his animals into the house to get quiet...).</div><div><br /></div><div>But I did bring the kids into shul for Kol Nidre and Neilah. In both cases, I felt it was inappropriate to bring food into the shul. Normally, I will bring some quiet snacks so they can sit for at least 30 minutes (Bamba bags aren't quiet.) But I felt it wasn't appropriate when people are fasting, especially at the end. Other mothers felt otherwise- there was a gaggle of kids in the back of the shul munching away at an assortment of snacks and they weren't toddlers. I made my 6 and 4 year old suffer through an hour of shul without snacks. I made sure they ate at home beforehand, so I knew they weren't hungry. I'm sure it was just hard for them to see others snacking away with abandon.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, I tried to make sure E, 15 month old, was fed too. However, two minutes after he ate his yogurt and banana bread, he started coughing (he has a bit of a lingering chesty cold) and sure enough, threw up everything he just ate! Nothing like cleaning vomit on Yom Kippur! (not to be outdone by cleaning an entire jar of Vaseline that he smeared on the floor and mirror as a morning activity). </div><div><br /></div><div>So, am I just a meanie? Is it ok to bring kid snacks into shul on Yom Kippur?</div><div><br /></div>Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-4553198369665877892009-09-22T23:10:00.004+03:002009-09-22T23:20:01.544+03:007 Minute Apple Plum CompoteI just made this up tonight and I think it could be great for a quick dessert for Shabbat or a boring weekday night (like tonight!)<div><br /></div><div>1 apple, sliced</div><div>2-3 blue plums or 1 black plum</div><div>2 splashes of dry red wine (preferrably wine that you enjoy drinking; I used a nice Merlot)</div><div>1 Tbs brown sugar</div><div>2 shakes of cinnamon </div><div><br /></div><div>Put all the ingredients in a microwave-safe bowl. Give a stir. Microwave on high for 2 minutes, stir around and make sure the apples are face down in the wine. Cook for another 3-4 minutes till everything is soft. </div><div><br /></div><div>Enjoy!</div><div><br /></div><div>Serves 1. You can multiply if you're feeling friendly.</div>Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7842476516397511123.post-66918731232749387122009-09-22T09:24:00.005+03:002009-09-22T10:26:20.697+03:00The Tefilla Shuffle<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXEnZfpBbrHwOcekJFqOSoZ9aEjheAqh6bkgfTyQ56qDvo2y0A5WwglAghI2CIjk4nHjv1rr3cvJhfLcelQ4S7AnpjLl6XIEyvOkvZsbaXC4tIsRp2USi4oIA_N-s2xjrhOE6VbWVQGSA/s1600-h/Simlat_HaShabat.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 206px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXEnZfpBbrHwOcekJFqOSoZ9aEjheAqh6bkgfTyQ56qDvo2y0A5WwglAghI2CIjk4nHjv1rr3cvJhfLcelQ4S7AnpjLl6XIEyvOkvZsbaXC4tIsRp2USi4oIA_N-s2xjrhOE6VbWVQGSA/s320/Simlat_HaShabat.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384185186310814306" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Davening on Yamim Noraim with small children is always a challenge, to put it mildly. There are many configurations and arrangements one can make to accomodate both parents. Growing up, my large suburban shul always employed non-Jewish babysitters for small children and they had "Junior Congregation" for older kids, although I just remember wandering around with my friends those long hours till I was old enough to get into davening. But babysitting was a lifesaver for parents, since children sitting quietly or davening were welcomed into the "sanctuary" (American shul terms are so funny), but noisy kids running in and out were not (there were actually ushers standing at the doors to keep order). <div><br /></div><div>Here in Israel, such luxury does not exist. When I lived in Jerusalem, my neighbor and I shared a secular babysitter on the Yamim Noraim, which was nice, but I felt funny about employing a Jewish person on the holiest days of the year. Although we still go back to J-m for Rosh Hashana, I don't live near that neighbor anymore, and that babysitter has moved on anyway. </div><div><br /></div><div>Another arrangement is tag-team davening. This is where one parent goes to a very early (vatikin) minyan and then takes care of the kids while the second parent goes to daven. I did this on Shabbat this year, although usually it's the husband who does this, and the wife goes late. I went to a five am minyan on Shabbat morning and left in the middle of musaf so my husband could make a 9 am minyan. Although I didn't get the entire davening in, I, at least, got some quiet, alone davening time to myself. And the early morning walk through the streets of Jerusalem was truly heavenly, in every sense of the word. The minyan took place in the Ramban shul in Katamon, where they have just finished a room downstairs, but had to leave half of it unfinished since they found Byzantine-era ruins as they were excavating.</div><div><br /></div><div>The problem with the tag-team is that it's hard for kids to feel like it's chag- I didn't take them to shul at all later in the morning, since there was no shofar blowing. I took them to the park, they played and then we came home. The park was packed and there were many mothers wandering around with machzorim in their hands, trying to keep an eye out for falling kids and davening at the same time. Now that my girls are 4 and 6, I do want them to get used to being in shul, get a sense of what it's about and slowly learn to sit for longer periods of time. You have to start somewhere!</div><div><br /></div><div>So the next day, I davened Shacharit at home and took the kids in time for shofar blowing and musaf. I wasn't worried about the girls going in and out, since they are pretty well behaved and after some shushing, my little one learned not to run into shul shouting about what she needed. My 15 month old was going to be the problem. He stayed pretty well in my arms for the silent Amidah and enjoyed clapping and singing along for the first part of chazarat h'shatz. But then he got antsy, so I took him out. He wanted to go into his stroller, so I put him in. I tried wheeling him into shul, since there was room, but he wasn't interested anymore. I rocked him back and forth outside, and just as I was about to give up and go home, he fell asleep. A really really sound sleep. Score! I was able to wheel him in next to me and he slept through the entire musaf and shofar blowing. Aside from some small issues with the girls, I was actually able to daven the whole time, which I was really excited about. And the girls stayed in with me for short periods of time.</div><div><br /></div><div>This shul is a young families shul, so there were lots of kids, and they had a short children's service and some toys and mini mitkanim. I was very pleased with how it worked out.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Commenter Abbihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07753256568022159103noreply@blogger.com3