Is Gender Socialization Genetic?


Lisa Belkin writes on her Motherlode blog about a boy who wants to be a ballerina for Halloween.  The mother wants to stop him, not because she think it's wrong, but because she doesn't want him to be teased. I understand this, but I tend to agree with the commenters who think, at 5, he's ready to be prepared for the teasing and, if he still wants to dress up after being well-informed of the possible social consequences, then she should let him.

This got me thinking about my own boy's toy preferences. My husband and I have been fascinated by how, even as early as 12 months, he had a clear preference for decidedly male-oriented toys- especially trucks, cars and tractors.When Mr. Startup (hubby) returned from a trip to the states with gifts, he bought the girls Barbies (those Polly Pockets were driving me crazy. They lasted about 5 minutes no matter how hard I tried to corral them all into various storage boxes.) and an adorable furry kitty stuffed animal for E. No go. Totally not interested and this was at 14 months. A month later, he brought back a green racing car that zoomed off by itself. A huge hit! We were both simply amazed at how he was gender socialized at such a young age. And where did it come from? It's not like we had a house full of boy toys. In fact the opposite- almost everything is  pink, sparkly and dolls. Dolls totally don't interest him. When I try to give him one to distract him, he just throws it to the side.

He loves other kinds of toys too- especially stacking cups and a toy where you can stack large beads. But we are just fascinated about how he fell so easily into his gender role so early. It's genetic? I have no idea.

5 comments:

Robin said...

That's an interesting question Abbi. I think to some extent it's genetic, but I also think that Israeli culture plays a large role, especially once the children reach gan age. No one is even really trying to be gender-neutral here - my daughter started refusing to wear anything but pink "because it was a girl's color and the others aren't" at a ridiculously young age, and as a confirmed pink disliker myself (comes from growing up in the 70's with a pink patchwork room - complete with wallpaper and comforter. Gak.) she certainly didn't get it at home.

My older one didn't even realize that girls *could* play soccer. He saw a photo of a friend's daughter's team (in the States) and was completely baffled.

Not that this is a good thing, it certainly makes it that much harder to teach children that they can be whatever they want to be and play with who and whatever they like. Sigh...

Leora said...

We've got those! My boy was interested in trucks, cars, trucks. The next boy liked stuffed animals. The girl is wired for pink. Hates playing ball, loves ballet. My nieces wouldn't touch the fire engine my brother bought for them, but a visiting boy played with it all day.

My daughter's best friend (a girl) loves blue and green and sports.

Genetics. Wired that way. Unfortunately, forcing them to "like" what they don't, as is chic currently in the U.S., can have repurcussions, too. Actually, I keep arguing no one is making the boys do ballet, why does my daughter have to play competitive sports?

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

It's hardwired into boys; trains, trucks, cars, tractors...

Commenter Abbi said...

Robin, I agree about Israeli culture- it's a weird mix of very gendered but not to the extent that women are silenced and enfeebled. L'hefech! Most "stereotypi" Israeli women I've met are the toughest and meanest women I know.

Leora, they're really forcing gender neutrality on kids in the US? How sad. That's a good question about boys and ballet.

Jameel- I'm definitely starting to see that. Thanks for commenting!

RaggedyMom said...

It also depends on what gender child you had first, thus, which toys are more prevalent in your house. My oldest is a tame girl, followed by two "bruiser" boys, but most of my toys are oriented towards her calmer, more thoughtful play. Despite the exceptions, for the most part, (even before the age of gan, but more so during and after), the boys can take the empty tube from a paper towel roll and turn it into a sword. Boy energy is so like that!

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